You don't remember me, but I remember you
'Twas not so long ago you broke my heart in two
Tears on my pillow
Pain in my heart, caused by you

If we could start anew
I wouldn't hesitate
I'd gladly take you back
And tempt the hand of fate
Tears on my pillow
Pain in my heart, caused by you

Love is not a gadget
Love is not a toy
When you find the one you love she'll fill your heart with joy

If we could start anew
I wouldn't hesitate
I'd gladly take you back
And tempt the hand of fate
Tears on my pillow
Pain in my heart, caused by you

So, i've been listening to this song for a while now. I wouldn't have a clue why ... Makes me want to watch Grease.

Hmmm..

what ..

What do you do when you've lost something that changes everything?

I've never really been one to talk about really private issues here. But it needs to be said - it should be said to you, but i can't seem to be able to bring myself to tell you whats on my mind to you. For some reason i need to say it like i'm not talking to you, because it hurts more when i know i'm actually saying it to you.

Trust is a really important thing in all relationships. Friendship, family, love. In all relationships. Without trust, there's nothing really. You don't want to talk to people you don't trust. You don't want to see people you don't trust. You don't want to have anything to do with people you don't trust. And it would hurt a lot if the person you can't trust, is someone that means a lot to you. Someone you love.

I've done so many things wrong in this one relationship. I've fucked things up so many times. And every time i hurt this person, it's done unintentionally. But even if it is, i'm still hurting them. I can't apologise enough for everything i've done. And there's a point where it just doesn't mean anything anymore. I hate that i know it's probably come to that point.

What i did was so, so hurtful. And nothing i say or do, can change the fact that i did it. No excuse will make it better. It changes everything. And i hate that it does. The relationship will never be the same... At least it wont if they can't find it in their heart to forgive me and give me yet, another chance. Sadly, i don't know what will happen.

What i do know though, is that ... as much as it kills me to say this ... i'm no good in this persons life. They don't really need me. I haven't done anything special to change them, make them feel better about themselves. You know how in movies and books and stuff, the character meets someone that changes them, makes them a better person and helps them realise stuff they never knew before? I haven't done that to this person. When i think about it now, all i've ever done is hurt them. That's ... probably not good for them.

Heh, ok .. this is to you now.

I wish i wasn't thinking this, but i am ... it's the only thing that's running through my head right now. I love you too much to hurt you again. Every time i hurt you, it's unintentional. But i still hurt you. The only way i can't hurt you is if im not there. It's a crappy solution... but it's the only thing i can see that will stop me from hurting you.

I know this will take a while to get over. It may or may not be hard … I don’t know. But I see only two options… and one of them is … not being in your life. If you honestly can’t trust me anymore… things have changed. We’re not the same. You definitely can’t call someone you don’t trust your best friend.

Of course, you decide what happens from here. I have to say though, that I can’t guarantee I wont hurt you again in the future if I stay. I mean, there will always be times where there will be hurt. Both from you and I. The only hard part is forgiving. Giving another person a chance. No matter how small or big the problem is… … Are you willing to do it again? ... I'm to scared to even think about what you thought just then.

I don’t want to hurt you anymore. But I know I could… and when I do, I’ll feel like shit. I would do anything to stop hurting you… anything. Even if it does mean staying away from you. You have to understand that I am so sorry. ….no matter how meaningless it may be to you right now..

That’s all I have to say … .. i am so sorry.

Yes. Baby.

I knew blogging bout my loan would mean they'd call me the next day. And...

I'M NOT GOING TO UOW! =)

Anyways.... that's all really.

Tehehe..

Sleepy Sleepy..

Is not what i am right now. It may be because the ice coffee i had a few hours ago is starting to kick in or it could be because i had a 2 hour nap earlier tonight. Well, technically last night. Nevertheless, i can't sleep. So here i am once again. Wasting my thoughts over nothing important. Hoorah.

My stomach is grumbling and I'm pretty sure it's because i hardly ate all day. I don't even think i had a proper meal. Just a few bites of different foods here and there throughout the whole day. Stupid move if you ask me. The reason i didn't eat the whole day may actually be even more stupid.

I was too lazy and tired.

Yes that's right. Too fricken tired to make an effort and therefore too lazy to pick up a piece of bread, lift my arm and place it in my mouth. I am now regretting being born a stupid girl.... not that it would be my fault.

In other news, NAB have yet to contact me back about my loan and whether it's been approved or not. Ok, yes... it's only been about 2 weeks since they processed my application but i am a very impatient person when it comes to matters such as this. Now, thanks to the lack of communication from this bank, i will now go into my panic and stress mode and convince myself that i'm .... screwed. And will have to go to UOW. And live a very unhappy life there. And also waste a $600 textbook scholarship. lol ...

Anyway, Christmas is about 5 sleeps away. Is anyone excited about it? No. I know i'm not. Mainly because there are no fricken Christmas lights up on the house. It's totally put me out of my Christmas spirit. Now all i have to look forward to is the bbq with the family. It shall be a very quiet Christmas this year, so there will be lots of me running around like a dickhead singing the good old Christmas carols. Got that Kate? Cause you're joining me. I refuse to have another boring Christmas.

I can't take this any longer. I'm going for some bread and cheese.

Happy Days!!!

Ok, so having a happy day reminded me of the show Happy Days. That was a good show. I use to watch that religiously. Very Nice...

Anyway... I'M SO BORED!!! To the point where i'm walking around the house looking for something to do, only to find myself end up near a chair, wanting to throw it into the wall. I don't know if i've ever been more bored in my life!! I might be in tears in a few seconds because of all this frustration. That and because it's that time of the month.

Oh. My. Gosh. I'm so unco it isn't even slightly funny anymore. I managed to punch myself in the face. Smack right on the mouth, hitting my piercing in the process. It hurts. Just a little.

Welps, i'm going to go kill someone now. Or watch tv. Whichever one comes first.

I will leave on this note ...

ok.

If love was an Oscar, U and I could never win
'cause we could never act out our parts

Be strong before its too late
Because forever is too long
For you to live in pain

my heart is slowly dying cuz I don't know
why I keep on trying when you're so cold
why I keep on crying only Heaven knows
it's something deep inside I just can't let it go

So I lose, but what do I do? Seems like it’s all been done for you

And it’s a little bit more than I bargained for I guess, but I bet, it’s just a lost cause when it’s all for you, yet, it all comes back to me
So will you think of me tonight? I can’t stand to know you’re right and I’m sorry
It’s hard to be alone, and that’s something you don’t know, and I’m sorry

Heh.

I'm going to be a hermit forever. And i won't graduate from college.. Cause i won't be successful in event management.. because i have to be a hermit forever...

I'll have to hold this event, but i wont even be there to run it. Because it'll be at night. With people i don't know... and i'm not allowed that ...

So failing Event Management before i even start it is totally on.


Yay.


Anyone know any jobs where i don't need to socialise? Let me know. Peace.

Hospitality

I HATE HOSPITALITY OPERATIONS!!!

IT'S A BIG WASTE OF MY LIFE AND I WANT THOSE 9 MONTHS OF MY LIFE BACK!!!

And NO!!! ... i will not practice positive self talk and change how i feel and react about certain things!!! If someone came up to me and told me the coffee i made was shit, i will not think 'that's ok, everybody has their own opinion, some people have different tastes' ... NOOOO!!!.. i will think 'GO MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING COFFEE THEN!!! ... '

JUST BECAUSE I MAY HAVE NEGATIVE SELF TALK ... DOESN'T MEAN I'M GOING TO PUNCH ON!! ... (YES SIMON I THOUGHT USING YOUR PHRASE WAS NECESSARY).

HOSPITALITY OPERATIONS CAN FUCK ITSELF SIDEWAYS. ... I'VE NEVER CAPPED SO MUCH IN MY LIFE.

Quote.

Some people get it right the first time.



Ah hah.


I hate hay fever. And boogies. Gross.

let's take this good enough and turn it to great

You understand me
At least you say you do
Lately thats enough for me
Looking for perfect
Surrounded by artificial
You're the closest thing to real i've seen
Sure, everyone has their problems, thats a given
Yours are the easiest to tolerate
This wasn't what we was wanting
how we're living
But let's take this good enough and turn it to great
Baby understand...

This can only be as good as we both make it
Yes, sometimes its gonna hurt
(yes sometimes its gonna hurt)
We can be as happy as we want to be girlboy
but we gotta make it work

we gotta make it work... oh
we gotta make it work... oh
we gotta make it work... oh
we gotta make it work... oh

Sometimes i love you
More than you'll ever know
Other times you get on my nerves(hey)
That's just reality
No, it can't always bekisses, hugs, and beautiful words

You was looking for your prince,ooh
what you found(wat u found)
Is a pauper with potential
And no, i'm nowhere near perfect..NO
but i'm around(but im around)
GirlBoy, time and patience is essential
baby realize...

This can only be as good as we both make it
Yes, sometimes its gonna hurt
(yes sometimes its gonna hurt)
We can be as happy as we want to be girlboy
But we gotta make it work

we gotta make it work...oh
we gotta make it work...oh
we gotta make it work... oh
we gotta make it work... oh

Thick and thin,(ooh)
The bad outweighs the good sometimes
That doesn't mean we're 'spose to give it up
My problems are yours,and yours are mine

This can only be as good as we both make it
Yes, sometimes its gonna hurt
(yes sometimes its gonna hurt)
We can be as happy as we want to be girl
but we gotta make it work

we gotta make it work... oh
we gotta make it work... oh
we gotta make it work... oh
we gotta make it work..oh 

i .. am bored.

But i'm waiting for SOMEONE to reply to me but he wont because he's being a dog. And ignoring me. So whatevvvvv..

Anyway, i'm all bloaty and shit. Stupid time in the stupid month. Stupid water. Stupid everything.

OK.. so i hate bank people. Especially if they request that you contact them via email. And especially if you e-mail them and get a reply saying they're taking their annual leave and to contact someone else. And especially more if they give you the contacts of the person which end up not working!!!! ... And I also hate them because, when you call them to ask for a specific person, they can't put you through to him for some reason... and you have to wait. Then you get told he'll contact you later. So you leave you're number... but he never calls you at all. I hate that... I also hate, that i have to be a fucken hassle and e-mail the first person again because it's pretty fucken important, and i'd like a reply! Because i'd like to know if i can afford to get into college before telling UOW that i'm declining their offer! AND!!!!! I also hate receiving e-mails from the first person i e-mailed saying that she's no longer in charge of the campus loans and that i have to contact the other fricken guy who i couldn't get in contact with! ...

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm all fired up now. The stupid lady said she'll make sure the bastard contacts me directly. .... SHAME HE HASN'T YET! ... I'm going to start throwing some chairs soon.

Ok... it's that time of the month. I'm emotional more than ever right now.

I think .... just maybe.. If someone told me they were going to quit a little habit they have... I just might be one happy vegemite tonight =P Tehehehe... love you.

Anyway, bank people suck. And so does 30 days of Night... most parts anyway.

*tear*

So i burnt my ear yesterday when i was straightening my hair and didn't realise. It hurts now. I burnt my finger today while straightening my hair today. This time i realised and swore. It stings... and itches. And when my dad came home, he whacked me in the face with his lunch box in a plastic bag. It hurt.

Why? What.. I mean... Why? What have i done.

I feel small =(

So i'm angry

I hate feelings. And i hate ... i HATEEEEEEE ... i HATEEEEEE... USELESS MANAGERS. That make notes on me and how to improve the store when she doesn't know shit all about the store.

And I hate fully sicks. And i hate kids that do happy laps around stocklands. And i hate that this makes me really angry. And i hate that i had no one to talk to about it yesterday. But then again... i ended up watching TMNT and Ratatouille, so i guess that was ok.. Anyway, i also hate that i haven't seen or talked to my friends in a very long fricken time. And i hate my life ... for many reasons i wont get into. And i hate that i feel the only person that i can depend on right now is too busy for me even if it's not their fault. And i hate that i've left my hair straightener on for so long. I hate that a shit song came on right now. I hate that my mum wasn't excited about my book scholarship even though it's not that exciting... but hey.. it's better than nothing. I hate that i didn't get that damn half scholarship. DAMMIT! I hate that people i know are getting with people i know - it freaks me out. I hate that my arm is going numb because i'm leaning on it while i type this. I hate that i hate too much.

Meh... i have so much hate in me today that i need to get out of the house. And i'm glad i am. Right now.

So goodbye.

Fuck.

I'm a big big dickhead. Big big ass. Shoot me.

Now.

So....

I'm a bear...

Just thought i'd share. Yup... that's about it.

Shoes.

Candice got a new job at Hollywood Shoetique.

Do you know what that means? Yes. Cheaper shoes for me. HOORAH!!!!!!!!

Thanks Candice... woo woo!

I want to sleep.

But i'm really not sleepy.

And i'm really bored. Bastard. This sucks balls. I'm stuck here listening to paolo talk about some guy named johnny. I think it's his lover. His man friend. His toy boy. His hubby. Harhar - just kidding paolo. If you ever read this.

Neeeeeeee - way.

So... what's new in the life of Kim you askkkk?... No you didn't ask. And now there will be no answer. I'm talking to myself. Does anyone ever realise this? Why don't you people leave me comments on how i should start seeing a shrink again before i start counting the hairs on my palm. Geez louise. Waaaaaaaait. I know whyyyyyy ... cause no one reads this!!!!!! Bingooooooooo.

Haaa.. lol. Paolo.. this is proof that Johnny is in fact, your lover. You know, for future references.

p a o l o says:
tonight is johnnys bday
p a o l o says:
going clubbing then hotel
p a o l o says:
hopefully thatll be alright
kim - joy. says:
..... who the fuck is johnny. lol
p a o l o says:
friend from school
p a o l o says:
lol
p a o l o says:
used to be good mates back in school
p a o l o says:
then uni kinda seperated us
p a o l o says:
but now back to hanging out again
kim - joy. says:
okie dokies
p a o l o says:
yep yep
p a o l o says:
hes awesome
p a o l o says:
haha
kim - joy. says:
why don't you marry him.

p a o l o says:
i do want to marry him.

Ok... fine you didn't say that last part. But you did say the next part!!!

p a o l o says:
anyway
p a o l o says:
wanna see a youtube clip of johnny?
kim - joy. says:
lol not really? might be some kinky shit between you and him
kim - joy. says:
lol urghhhh
p a o l o says:
lol
p a o l o says:
u wish kim
p a o l o says:
u wish
kim - joy. says:
you're gross.. lol

HAAAAAAAAAAA!! .. Ok. I think i feel a bit sleepy now. Guess what niggas. I'm getting my laptop back tomorrow. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Suck that.

Please.

P.S - Paolo's very much a man who likes punani. Just so you all know..
We're cool paolo! .. lol.

P.P.S - This is my 69th post. I'm never blogging again.

my head hurts..

and i hate this feeling...

Heh.

And no Kate. Real Landon Carter. Thanks ...

Landon Carter.

♥

I dislike when people steal money from me. I worked 4hrs today, just to earn back the money i lost. Meh. You people suck balls. I also dislike frustrating customers. Who never listen to you and think they're top shit - in Stocklands. I also dislike ladies with ugly heads who think they're hot. When really, their side profile makes you so sick you'd rather stick your head under the sink that smells like rotten egg and dead mouse and vomit yourself to death rather than have to witness what an ugly head she has. What really annoys me though, is when you have to sit through a movie you actually want to watch and have someone ask questions throughout the whole movie. No buddy... not on.

So, i'm just a little pissed tonight. Just a bit.

And also, my laptop doesn't seem to want to reformat. I'm ready to throw chairs. A whole heap of them. Into the mirror. So i don't have to see the wrinkly lines that come up on my face when i frown and get all angry.

The only thing that's keeping me calm while i vent all this out is knowing my cousin is going to buy me a Landon Carter. Or give me leukemia - so that Landon Carter may come to me and fulfill my list of 100 things to do in life - if i had one. 100 things to do i meant - not my life. Ok.. who am i kidding.. i meant both my life and a list of 100 things to do.

Ok ... i kid with leukemia. But whatever...

Anyway... my internet connection is gay.

HILARY DUFF!

Is on drugs. And looks like a horse. And is lip syncing. And shes annoying me.

That's all.

I don't like it.

Being angry. Even though a lot of the time i am. It sucks. And i get emotional a lot of the time too. So it sucks more.

But anyway ....

FUCK.

he sings to me, a lullaby..

You're a falling star, You're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
♥ buble.

Also, Kate... i'm not going back to fairfield rsl. Sif mate. Thank you goodbye!

Happier.

I think. You wanna know how i know? Do you? Yeah you do i can tell you do.

Well, I know i am because i don't rant as much as i use to. Which is sad. Cause now that i don't hate a lot of things like i use to and now that i don't get so angry at stuff as much as i use to, i can't bitch about anything.

I need something to bitch about!

Well,

You know what's annnnoyyyying?

People throwing McFlurry's on your car. You know what's even moreeeee annoying?? Washing it off. And you know what i hate the most about this whole problemo?? Washing the car, having it all nice, clean and shiny ... and then going outside the next day, finding the car covered in dust!!!

Anywhoooo... I have a clear ball in my piercing now so you can't really tell it's there. I forgot it was there and sort of scared myself with it. I don't know how to change the ball back so i'm stuck with this ugly thing. Not that you can SEE that it's ugly.. but it feels ugly. Ok, lie. I can't even feel it. Point is it's not my 'diamond' ball anymore. And i need to buy mini pliers from Bunnings to take this clear one off and put the old one back. I hate piercings. Heh.

So... frustrated just a bit.

*Throws a rock at someones head*

Immerse yourself in the love issue.

Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of a genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of a genius. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me. Winston Churchill. Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Aristotle. Love: The irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Mark Twain. One half og the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. Jane Austen. Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next-door neighbour ... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Mother Teresa. The course of true love never did run smooth. William Shakespeare. The hottest love has the coldest end. Socrates. Love beings with a smile, grows wit ha kiss and ends with a teardrop. Anon. A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses. HL Mencken. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Alfred Lord Tennyson. If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep my in your heart; I'll stay there forever. Winnie the Pooh. There is always some madness in love. But there is always some reason in madness. Friedrich Nietzsche. Where there is love, there is life. Gandhi. He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. Benjamin Franklin. He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes. Buddha.

x lou & lara.
♥ Frankie.

And of all of them, Pooh's one was the best.

Hoorah, Hoorah!

Something to bitch about today. Yay.

So, at work... really tired - Not feeling so good. That's my first problem. The second problem is a fat ugly mole... asking for her sausage roll like this ...

"Can you hurry up with my sausage roll?" .. Um. Can you go fuck yourself sideways? Yeah. Ok, she probably didn't MEAN it the way she said it because she couldn't really speak english properly.(or maybe she did, she just came off that way) .. But goodness gracious me, she got me fired up. Ready to start throwing chairs and shit.

And kate, my cousin yeah that's right - I'm still friggen sick. This cough... is just a little whore.

Anyway, that was good. I feel better.

Woo =)

So tight, so fly...

You got me lifted, you got my lifted.

Ooo-wee it's the ultimate feeling. You know what's not the ultimate feeling? This cough. It better not be like the 'mad cough' Paolo had that lasted a month. I would rather kill myself. Ok, no i wouldnt... but something along the lines of not feeling this. Ughhhh. whateverrrr.

Usher, Lil Jon, Ludacris ... once again, it's on. .... Uh-ooohhh.. Uh-ohhh. Baby, how you doing? Hope that you're fine, wanna know what you got in mind.

Lover:

1.	a person who is in love with another.

2.	a person who has a sexual or romantic relationship with another.

3.	a person with whom one conducts an extramarital sexual affair.

4.	a person who has a strong enjoyment or liking for something, as specified: a lover of music.

Tell me again ... that we'll be lovers and friends.

Did you all know Usher is married? And has a baby on the way? Well, not HIM... but his wife has a baby on the way. The monkey has settled.

I want a louuuuu-vaaaa. Tehehe..

Longest cough ever.

If my cough doesn't go away by Saturday night, which is tomorrow night, i think i just might die. I have never vomited so much in my life. Ok, maybe i have. But the point is, i've been vomiting a lot. Not very attractive.

Mmmm. I really don't have anything to bitch about. I'm just trying to waste time - time that is going by very. very. slowly. Why has nothing interesting happened to me at all this week. What's going onnnnnnnnnn brooooooo.

Gay.

Oh my gosh. Spice Girls are back together and are touring next year. I am so totally going to go watch them. Hahahaha.. ahhh.. retarded times. WHO WANTS TO GO WITH ME!?!?! lol ...

Anyway, what do you do when you don't know what to do? I asked Candice that question and her answer was so useful and so helpful "????". Now that, is some great advice. Ah well, I want to scream because my lungs are 'cold', as my grandma put it - and are therefore, being a pain in my ass.

You know what, for some reason. I'm happy at the moment. Just at this moment. Might be because of this memory that just came to mind, but nevertheless it has made me very happy. And now i want to go to bed.

Let's go to bed now bumblebee. =)

Oh yeah..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CANDICE!
Love you longer than the longest time.

xo

Kudos

To whoever that was. I bet you googled the sentence. Or used dictionary.com ... Cheater. But anyway... who was it. I have to give you a brownie now..

behave carelessly or indifferently.

Anyway, im sick. I barfed two times today at work. And they wouldn't let me stay. They sent me home. Shitty much. Now i wont get the money i desperately need. I am broke.

So pissed off and emo.

Yes. Emo.. get the fuck over it. I hate you.

Emo.

And i just barfed. What. The. Fuck.

mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims.
the object of extreme aversion or hostility.
the state of being deprived of or of being without something that one has had
A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different.
grounds for this feeling in a particular instance

Heh.

Brownie points to whoever can guess the words that go with those meanings. Funnnnn.

Naw. Fun Times.

Yay for the weekend and for everyone who came.

I can't be bothered explaining the night, so photos will do ... next time i blog. hahaha.

In other news, I need to pee. Again.

So, I'm old.

Yup. That's right... So old.

Ok, so my birthday yesterday. Was a rollercoaster of emotions. Why? I do not know. I was woken up at 12am with a birthday message, which resulted into me not being able to sleep again. So i only got 2 hours sleep before work - so i was really, really ... not in the mood to work. And then work was busy as, and i just wanted to scream at everyone - tell them it was MY birthday and that I'm the important bitch for the day.

But whatever. Day turned out ok anywhoo ...

Today i was also tired. And extremely fed up with babies wailing and kids running around like madmen. Meh. But i went shopping for... socks. And it made me happy.

This blog was completely useless. Mission accomplished.

Oh yes...

Thanks for making my birthday sexy everyone ♥ =)

*Stabs someone*

I'm so pissed right now. Today has been such an effed up day. O M G.

I wake up pissed. I go to tafe pissed. I leave tafe pissed. I go to work pissed and tired. I finish work pissed and tired. AND NOW ... i've been put on hold for about 20mins!!! All because of my daddy who needs his PUK code. I am going to throw this phone into the screen of this laptop. That pissed.

Fuck.

I'm even swearing like a dirty bitch. Far out... OMG. Now there's another call waiting. Efffffff that..

Onto lighter and brighter news, my brother gave me an early birthday present. Naaaawww. It was an ipod shuffle - hahaha... another shuffle. Anyway, its cuteeee. Naw ♥ my big broooo-dah.

Thank you for waiting, we'll be right with you.
Check out our deals, ask the consultant who answers your call


BULLSHIT! NO ONE IS ANSWERING MY CALL. I HATE YOUUUU SOULLL!!! *STABS EVERYONE THAT WORKS AT SOUL*


I want to have a warm bubble bath .. =(

iTunes.

How very old school of me. Unless, people still use iTunes. Then, how very cool of me.

Ahhh.. Michael Buble. He's singing to me right now.
You must of been a beautiful baby, you must of been a beautiful child.. oh cause baby won't you look at you now

And i know what you're thinking anonymous. *Stares at you*

Foolish heart, hear me calling
Stop before you start falling
Foolish heart, heed my warning
You've been wrong before
Don't be wrong anymore

I'm feeling that feeling again
And I'm back in the game I can't seem to win
Love's knocking on the door
my heart once more
Think I'll let him in...
But before I begin...

I bit my piercing today while eating lunch. It really hurt. I swore really loud, and people turned around. I was embarrassed. Ah, how very classy of me.

Wednesday is a very gay day in the week. It's in the middle of a working week, so you don't really know whether to be happy .. or .. emo. Wednesday's suck balls. Like you. And there's nothing on TV. And the Internet is boring. And I need a hobby i think.

Heh.

Wow. One week til i'm old and once again a 'pedophile' to all my ex's. Shouldn't really be sharing that though. Ah well. I feel like having a jumping castle party... *strokes chin*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARA!!!!

Hoorah! She's 19! How old. Ewwwww...

Happy Birthday Pumpkin Pie. Love you lotsssssssss

So anyway, i'm so gangsta i dogged tafe today. *Rolls eyes* ...

In other news, my lip is starting to swell. It feels fat. Which makes me feel fat. I have a fat lip. *Makes a sad face to show distress and the fat lip*

I'm going to go feed myself some anti-depressant foods now.

*Waddles off*

Don't ever pretend to take pictures

Of a P plater in a commodore. Because he will run you down. Twas very unusual. Stupid Athina had to go and pretend she was taking a picture of the cars and then the next thing you know the fricken kid is up my cars ass beeping and wanting to know if she took the picture. One - you're ugly. and Two - why would we want a picture of your green ugly scratched up commodore?

Also, picture taking can be very tiring. If you spend half a day with Athina and Naline and a camera or two - you will soon find all your energy drained out of you and your batteries. And all the space in your memory stick full.

I'm so tired i need a hug. Anyone up for a cuddle? ... Anyone?

*sigh*

The best feeling in the world

Is definitely not getting your labret-lip pierced.

No Kate, the best feeling in the world is not sneezing. Wtf much? lol ... The best feeling in the world is not having to work Friday, Saturday and Sunday! Der... but you wouldn't know that cause you work on the weekends =P .. Sucked in.

Anyway, today i went shopping yet again. And i bought a dress. And when the lady asked for my size i was like 10-12 and she was like... really loud to my embarrassment "TEN TO TWELVE? I WOULD HAVE SAID EIGHT!". That is either a really generous compliment. Or she's just being one of those 'friend' girls that only say positive things and would lie to make women feel better about themselves.

Well anyway, that's my rant for today. I'm going to continue watching my dvds now..

I can't sleep

I knew it was there
Though I tried to hide it
The feeling just kept on shining through
Haven’t known you that long
So I try to deny it
But the feeling was much too
Much too strong

Could this be love
Deep down inside
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart

Constantly, you’re on my mind
Thinking about you all the time
I can’t sleep no matter what I do
I just keep on thinking ‘bout you

Why do I feel this way
When I know you have someone
That you’re seeing each and everyday
Should I play this game
Of just being your friend when i know that’s not where I want it to end

How could this be wrong
When it feels so strong
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart

No I don’t want to start
No trouble
Between you and I and your lover
But I must tell you what I’m going through
Everytime you walk by
I see love in your eyes

So i was sitting here for about 15 minutes, yawning and looking at the screen. Now i have to go shower. Before i go... Does anyone know what the best feeling in the world is? I do. And it's awesome.

*Smiles and skips away*

Shut up you...

lol. you're not the only one that reads this and i know this because people have actually told me that my blog is very hateful and that i should stop being so emo. And i also know Naline reads it all the time because she's stalkerish like that! *folds arms*

SO HA! I win. And you lose.


But i heart you still. ♥ Keep commenting. =)

To the anonymous people.. and Kate.

I love that you're bored enough to read about my useless life.

I also love that i am back at Gloria Jeans. Because black looks so much better on me. And i get to walk around and buy stuff on my break again. Hoorah! And i'm being taught manager's open and close and shit. So i'm slightly .. (ok a lot more) important there now than what i was 7 months ago. I get a key! Hahaha..

In other news, i am upset because green plates don't go well with the colour of my car. It looks gross. I shall just have to buy a new car. Sometime. In the near future.

I'm hungry. Goodbye.

The Bank of Kim Joy

I hate when you think about a word or a sentence too much to the point where it doesn't even make sense anymore or it doesn't even sound or look like the right word. I just did it then. And now i don't even want to say what it is just so i don't sound like a complete sped.

Anyway, i learnt a valuable lesson today. On how to deal with people and relationships and how to be wise about choosing your friends and what not. It's called the Bank of "Insert Name Here". You are the bank and the people you are acquainted with are the customers. I think it's a good theory.

This is how it works:
* Person enters Bank (hahaha.. if you thought of that in a dirty way ..HIGH FIVE! lol )
* Person receives $100 into their account to start
* Every time Person visits the Bank, they can either invest/deposit or withdraw from the bank.
* If they invest, Bank deposits more money into their account - giving them more value.
* If they withdraw, Bank doesn't really give a crap.. and they lose their money and worth.
* If person no longer has any more money in the Bank, they are no longer associated with the Bank and the Bank wont give a flying eff about them.

In the bank of Kim Joy, only a few people are highly valued - they are worth billions. They are so rich, that if they did something small - i'd only withdraw about $10 max. And they'd still be highly valued. The point of sharing this all.. was because if the people that are millionaires at my bank read this, then they know the Bank of Kim Joy appreciates doing business with them and values them lots. :) ♥

im asian bro.

Like. Fully.

but i likey.

So i got my hair done today. And i bought a GHD. and I'm pretty much broke now. Yay.

Lol.. I gave my resignation letter in today. I must be awesome at what i do because... the HR lady was like "I'll pass the letter on to Anthony and i'll see if we can come up with a better solution." Um .. no. I'd like to quit thank you. But my last day is on Saturday whether they like it or not. YAYYY!!!

And i'm still sick. YAYYYY!!!!

Rudolph the red nose raindeerrrrr

Had a very shiny nose! And if you ever saw it... you would say it looked like mineeeeee.

I'm still so very sick. And it's quite disgusting.

So i went to the doctors today and there was a 2-3 hr wait. A bit gay. So i went to stockies and bought nail polish and then went back and did my nails. And then there was this guy and girl who walked into the disabled toilet and came out 15 minutes later. Hmmm....

I'm bored.

nobody wanna see us together
but it don't matter, no.
cause i got you babe.

nobody wanna see us together
but it don't matter, no.
cause i got you babe.

first we gon' fight.
oh yes we gon' fight ...
believe we gon' fight ??
fight for our right to love.. yeahhhh...

My hate for technology.

So friggen cheesed off.

i'm ready to break something. Like the laptop. And its stupid word program. And this friggen pen drive crap that doesnt even work or save my shit properly.

I'm soooooooooo fricken pissed. I'm about to have a BF! And no it's not funny. Don't mistake that quote for a friggggggggggen joke because i'm sooooooo ready to break balls.

BAH!

NeYo, i'm so sick

ARGHHHH!!

I didn't even share a drink with anyone diseased this time. =( Whyyyy am i siccckkkk. I can't breatheeeeeee.

Anyway! Star City called me today and asked if i was still seeking employment. Damn them. The position was for a Bartender/Barista. That would have been fun. WHY didn't they call me before i was offered two other jobs. WHY! Ah well.

SO I MADE A DECISION! I'm proud of myself. It wasn't that hard actually. I just had to go to work and once again, wish to die. So i'm definitely leaving FRSL. Yay. Time to write my resignation letter. Fun times.

Today has been such a waste.

Zomg

I'm sore and sick. Well i think i'm sick. I keep sniffing. And it feels like boogies are going to come out. And i'm sneezing like a bitch. So maybe i am a little sick. GAY!

Ok now i'm trying to breathe for my life. *Sighs*.

I just saw tim tams in the kitchen. It makes me very emo. Bah.

*Throws a hard object at no one in paticular*

I just wanna die. A little.

I hate wednesdays. and making decisions. and i wish i was Dorthy on my way to the Wizard of Oz so i can go and get some great advice to live on.

effinnnnn

lol .. i'm an idiot.

Because i sing in the shower. And when i did, shampoo got in my eye and in my mouth. It happened a few days ago and last night as well and i just remembered when i showered tonight. So, moral of the story:

don't sing while you're shampooing

Or you know ... just don't be retarded.

So i got a new job. I should be resigning from FRSL sometimes soon. Tad happier i guess. Zomg no more uniforms. Yay-ah! And i'm part time too. So YAY some more.

Anyway, whoever commented 'perhaps' on the last ramble... You made me laugh. I like you... 'cept you're playing with my heart. So i hate you a little. But overall i think you're ok. ♥

Perhaps ..

You won't admit you love me.
And so how am I ever to know?
You only tell me
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

A million times I've asked you,
and then I ask you over again,
you only answer
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

If you can't make your mind up,
we'll never get started.
And I don't wanna wind up
being parted, broken-hearted.
So if you really love me,
say yes.
But if you don't, dear, confess.
And please don't tell me
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

If you can't make your mind up,
we'll never get started.
And I don't wanna wind up
being parted, broken-hearted.
So if you really love me,
say yes.
But if you don't, dear, confess.
And please don't tell me
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps,
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps,
perhaps,
perhaps,
per…………haps

Neh.

=(

*Sings* transformers, robots in disguise.

Yes. Finally watched it. Yes. Twas a very good movie. Yes. The robots were extremely cute. Yes. I wish my car was rad like one of them.

Anyway, today was proof that shoes do in fact make me a very very happy girl. I felt like shit and then i paid off the amount left on the shoes i put on layby and just like that *clicks*, i was a happy chap once again. For a while anyway. But nevertheless, i love shoes. So much.

I have work tomorrow. Urgh.. another reason to buy shoes.

Damn.

Like an old friend once sang in a song:

Why you gotta flirt girl boy, when i don't really got a chance.

S'over.

You're beautiful mi amor ..

Now if those words came out of a younger hot spanish guy, i'd be all omg that's so cheesey but a tad cute. Sadly it didn't. It came out of an old man whose friend goes to the rsl on a regular basis and who happen to learn my name yesterday. Gay.

But oh well... I get accepted into college, get called for a training session for a new job and get called beautiful all in one day. I also bought new lip gloss. It's been a good day.

I shall celebrate by going to Sara's house and eating.

The Sweet Dark Chocolate..

That's me. Yup yup.

Ok so i bought 2 cardigans and put shoes on lay by today! GAY! Well, not gay ... because i wanted them. But gay because i have no self control! And Candice didn't even do anything to STOP ME! Meh. Oh well. They were hot shoes.

Now onto more 'oh-my-gosh-i-have-an-interview-tomorrow-and-i-have-nothing-to-wear' news, I have an interview tomorrow and i have nothing to wear. And also, i have to wake up at 7.00am to get ready. Gay. The things i do to get a place into college. *Shakes head*

Anyways... It's very cold.

BERRR!!!

IT IS

SO

FRIGGEN

COLD.



Just a bit.

Promo chicks.

I hate Promo chicks. I hate how they dance down aisles and make patrons follow their dance moves. I hate how they do karate kid moves to 'Eye of the Tiger' or whatever song was playing. I hate how that drunk bastard almost whacked me in the face because he was copying the stupid move. I hate how the promo chicks wear spice girl combat boots, making them really tall. I hate how the boots make them tall enough so their boobs are directly in my face when they turn around to give someone their ticket. I hate Saturday Night Fever and every other promo.

You know what i also hate? Getting to work and finding out your shift has changed when you've been so looking forward to bludging at reception doing nothing. And you know what's worse? Finding out that you have an 8hr shift of clean up! Ready to kill myself much?

They know how to piss me off over there at work. Grrr... Jokes on them i have 4 days off! So whatever...

I need to get to my phone. Except it's in my room. I feel to lazy to walk all the way over there. *Reaches towards bedroom in hopes of mobile magically appearing in hand* ...

One more day.

Then i get three days off. Then Tafe. So... really. It's like four days off. Excited much? I sure am.

I woke up this morning and my drawer was open. But i didn't leave it open. I was freaked out so i got up and made breakfast for everyone. This was at 7.00 in the morning. And i've been up since then. I am .. just a bit tired.

My fully sick bro and i went to North Sydney today. It was a waste of time. But it was enjoyable anyway. I heart North Sydney at the moment. I can't wait for next year. ♥

I have workskies at 3.30pm. =(
Kill me now.

I miss working at a coffee shop.

Hehe..

Ultrasounds feel funny.

I have peed so much today. It's been terrible. I hate ultrasounds. And i hate having to drink 1 litre of water before ultrasounds.

Hahaha... i'm bigger than you, i'm higher in the foodchain! get in my belly!

Ahhh... That was a tad random. Anyway... So i got our parklife tickets in the mail yesterday. All five of them. I was excited for a bit... then it died in 5 mins. So i guess i'll wait until September to get excited again.

What do you get when you fall in love?
A guy with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
After you do, he'll never phone you.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

Yawwwwn.

Me so sleepy.

How friggen awesome is the weather today! Makes you want to snuggle up close to someone sexy. Or read a book. And since i can't do the first option, i've had to settle for the latter. It also makes me wish i had a laptop so i wouldn't have to move from my room ever. And maybe a fridge too. Having a toilet in my bedroom is out of the question... that's so dirty.

Berh. I'm bored now. And i'm thinking i should go back to my bed. I will do that. Soon. After i tell you i'm going to college next year...

I'm going to college next year.

Yes i am very excited. No more working full time and being so emo about it that i end up telling people it makes me want to kill myself a little. Ok... i kid. It makes me want to kill myself a lot. But yes... my parents said 'A-okay' to me taking out a student loan for the college fees and mummy dearest told me to go apply already. Yay-ah!

Now i have to ignore the lady that's going to be hounding me about enrollment for UOW. She's gonna be all up in my face like "ZOMG, YOU EMAILED ME AND TOLD ME YOU WERE GOING TO ENROLL IN FEBRUARY. YOU'RE SUCH A DOG. I HATE YOU."

Ah well.. Eat a dick. :)

I would like to be ...

the girl that breaks his heart.

Not to be a bitch or anything. But you know... cause then you know he really feels for you. So it's like... nawwww. So cuteeee.

ANYWAY! I went to an open day and and info night for Macleay and APM yesterday. I am so excited about studying right now it makes me want to pee a little in my pants. I am sooooo sick of work. There is only sooooo much a person can take in a job they're not too fond of. And i am at that point. Like. Right now.

Onto lighter and brighter subjects... no smoking in RSLs and registered clubs. Exciting much. Now dirty old people wont be flicking ash on my white shirt. Or smoking cigars that smell like shit that's been set on fire. Say it with me: Yay-ah!

Omg.. i'm happy tonight...


But i still hate you... a little.

I declare myself ...

A hermit. Forever.


The end.

Whoever stole my $20 ..

Should be shot.

Give me my $20 back you cheapo. Honestly... i don't earn that much so that $20 is a lot to me!! lol... Ok, thinking about it now, my income is pretty embarrassing and that $20 actually gets me somewhere. Far outtt... i hate fairfield rsl! and all of the people there. Well.. not all of them.. but most of them! Ok... mostly the females. The females who go through my locker and steal money out of my wallet. That's the second time that's happened to me. Dirty thieves.

=(

People stink.

Now I can't watch transformers. Well, not that i had anyone to watch it with. But you know... DAMMITTTTT!!!

Thank God its Friday.

Not that it really matters for me because while you're all out having fun... i'm at work, serving drunk, sleazy old bastards their beer. Say it with me:

Yay for me!

Anyway... i have half an hour to rant on about nothing! YESSSSS!!! ...

Ok. 10 minutes wasted writing nothing.

You're gay.

That is all...

Blood testssss...

Make me want to cry.

My right arm is weak and i feel useless. I can't even type this without feeling yukky in my right arm. And driving home from the blood test. Don't even get me started.

Now i'm really sad cause i'm all weak and no one is here to hug me. Except my grandma... but i don't really wanna hug her.

=(

i'm going to go play sims in pain.

Curse you blood test.

Women...

There are women out there who are just feral.

Gross.

I don't know if they skipped the class where their teacher taught them how to wrap their sanitary pads with toilet paper before throwing it in the sanitary bin or if they're just natural slobs. But seriously, women can be pretty dirty.

And it's pretty effed up.

So... i'm doing toilet checks at work today and i flush one toilet and its just not cooperating. That's when i decide it's clogged so i call the manager. Bennie Boo Boo comes to my rescue to unclog it, only to find the toilet is clogged with a dirty dirty sanitary pad filled with blood.

It. Was. Gross.

So when a lady comes in hopes of relieving herself, she gets ushered to the disabled toilets. That's when i come back and find Bennie Boo Boo heaving into the bin that i passed over to him to throw all the crap in. Not a good idea. So then i start retching because Ben's doing it. And if anyone knew me well, you'd know that I can vomit like *clicks* that.

Anyway, Ben couldn't take the bloody pad out of the toilet bowl because he was over one heaving so I had to do it. That is the dirtiest thing i have ever had to do in my life. And right now, i hate all women who do not know how to dispose of a sanitary pad correctly.

Dirty Hags.

Fck off.

I've had it with everyone.

If you're not in the group of the select few that i think are normal, then i don't care about you or what you think. I don't have time for your rubbish. I will laugh if you have anything to say about me, because frankly.. i don't give a damn. Go find something more productive to do with your life instead of bitching, gossiping, and starting rumours. Cause honestly, that's fucked.

I don't mind if you dislike me, i probably dislike you even more.
I wasn't one to hate, but because of people like you... I hate more than ever.
If you're not someone i care for or someone i trust, i won't feel the need to speak to you.. but i will if i have to.
We don't need to get a long. And i don't have to like you. You don't have to like me.

I was a happy person once, obviously things change... people make you angry. And you end up a bitch. That's probably where i am now.

But... you know what. I really don't care. I know who my friends are and they know the real me. I don't need you or people like you in my life, telling me what i've become or what i am.

I hope you read this and realise that this is for you. Cause listen here buddy... you can bitch all you like...

I don't give a flying f*ck

I can't be left alone with money.

So don't ever let me wander in shops by myself.

Guess who owns a cybershot digital camera. Yes. that's right. Your mum. Nah, just kidding. I love your mum. But yes, I own a cybershot digital camera. I decided i wanted one so i went and bought one today.

A photo of the camera. *claps*

So anyway... i went to liverpool today only to go to a travel agent store and to buy my sick brother some cough medicine (i am quite hopeless because i ended up getting him COLD & FLU medicine... which he does not have yet. But oh well, once it kicks in he'll be thanking me). I came out of liverpool with new clothes as well. And other little nick nacks that i believe i need. I was sooooooo close to buying the Closer dvd. But i didn't. Now i have nothing to watch in the next hour or so. That dvd will be my next purchase.

For a second there, i felt like Carrie from Sex in the City, typing away on a laptop. Only difference is that i'm using a PC and not a laptop. I'm asian and have black hair. I live in Australia. And my name's not Carrie and i don't write novels on sex and why women need to find the perfect man. O-kayyy...

It's pissing down rain. I'm in the mood for snuggling up to someone warm and watching a great movie and eating popcorn....

Who's up for it? ... Anyone?

Pot Holes.

Suck.

If i cause an accident on the street, it will either be because of a damn pot hole or my grandmother. I hate pot holes! HATE them!
They will be the death of me. And my tyres.


That is all.


AND YES! I like to whinge and complain and i can get emo! ... deal with it. Or go eat one.

Hoe-My-Gosh . .. . .

Love cute asian boys.

That was random. Anywhooooooo. It's 1.00pm and i have nothing to do until 2.30, which is the time i have to get ready for work.

I really don't have anything to complain about so i don't know why i'm 'blogging'. I've noticed i always blog when i want to share my hate of something with the world. Today is a blog about how i love cute asian boys. or boy.

What. A. Turn. Around.

Actually, this is just me yappin' cause i'm really bored. Yeah, that's it.

So..... *looks around*. Work was interesting? One of the lead singers of a band that was playing last night had a knife held to her throat in the car park. She had her stuff taken - except for her car. The guitarist came by in time before he managed to do that ... so he bolted instead. The IDIOT- and i am not exaggerating with the boldness and what not - got busted by the police at the lead singers house. WHY? Because he is the WORST mugger ever. As if you'd be dumb enough to go straight to her house after. As in - an hour after. *Throws slipper at the mugger*

Then someone got kicked out of the club - wrestling with security and managers and all. Twas a fun sight. Meanwhile we're all behind the bar dancing to whatever song is playing .... (most likely Britney Spears - cept i didn't want to admit that ... even though i just did)

Yeah... ok that took 13 mins of my life. And ... it was a great waste. Don't you just want to hurt me or something for wasting your time too?

i hate blogspot

Because it deleted all my angry blogs. I happen to like them angry blogs. I FOUND IT!!! So this is an old blog --> Oh well... like the waiter at Max Brenner kept saying .. "Fuck it, shit happens."

Yes. Shit happens when it's the second day of one of your staff and she can't do a thing right. Not that i'm complaining. I think we appreciated the extra plate of waffles and the extra two hot chocolates.

before we got the freebies (well, actually... that one's the free one)



and afterrrr ......

Sweet...

Anyway... i'm going.


P.S ... Naline. This is for you because ..... only God knows why you 'log into' this site everyday to see if i've blogged.

What the Duce!

ZOMG!!!!!!!

CAN'T SLEEP!

I hate thisssss. I've only had 8hrs sleep over the past 3 days. *cries* And now i have to resort to blogging to keep myself occupied. It sucks balls. I can't even think of anything else i want to say besides i can't sleep! Ehhh!! And i have work tomorrrrrrrrrow. Well, today technically. In another 4 hours.

Now i'm probably going to click on the youtube button and watch more family guy clips. what the hell man. Or maybe i should sing. Or maybe i shouldn't. Or maybe i should stop babbling about nothing. =(

Hmmmmmmm...

ooo.. my dads awake now.

so i'm probably going to get in twoubleee for being awake.

to poophead:

o l i v e j u i c e <3.

I'm not moving from the dancefloor

So how hot is Misa Campo right now.

Yeah... no lesbian or anything. She's just so hot.

Even when she's acting like an idiot.

Anywhoo... I'm now going to vent on my hate for pot holes. I HATE POT HOLES! Because they make me paranoid and give me reason to believe my tyre will again go flat. And i hate that. I mean, i'm already a shit driver. I don't need pot holes making it worse for me.

John Howard, do something about your roads. If you're in charge of that shit. If you're not... pass on the message. (yes i know he may never read this, but i like to dream)

Anyway, i will leave with some wise wise words someone once said to me.

You think you've got it all worked out
But you don't know nothing nothing, nothing

I could teach you a thing or two
Yeah. Oh Yeah.

OoOooOo

Look who i am from Sesame Street.

You scored as Zoe. Zoe's young, smart, energetic and very playful. She is not very gullible. She has a funny laugh. When she is excited and wants to tell someone something, she'll often forget for a second what that something is. Has a voracious appetite for adventure. She enjoys collecting necklaces, bracelets, and barrettes. Zoe also enjoys doing ballet and she always wears a tutu!

Yeah, that's right.

I can give you what you want

I can make your heart beat short
I can make you ice cream, we can be a sweet team
melting in your vice dreams, sport.

I can be the sauce you crave
I can spell what you can't say.
Chocolate flavoured love theme, treat that treats you so mean
covering your nights and days.

Let me give you what you'd like.
I can make your mouth run dry.
Drink my like a liquor, c'mon and dip your dipper
Show me what you're here for, guy.

Alright, enough of that.

To more important matters....

William, i am sorry. LOL. When i finish detoxing i promise i will come out and drink with you. This is my public apology. Please accept it. lol .. DUMMMMAAAAA!!!

TODAY.. is a lazy day. VERRRRRRRRYYY lazy. BUT! I'm cooking. How awesome am i.

And now i'm upset because my plans were cancelled because im poophead. Well, not ME... but ... yeah. figure it out.


*storms out of room angry*

***

YAY!!! i'm going shopping with Kerstin. My hero. Love it.

Don't really know why i'm blogging.

Might be cause i'm bored.

This blogging thingo has apparently changed its feature and what not. So like... it's pretty annoying. But anyway, hello world. I am bored. Not really bored... just can't get back to sleep.

Yesterday was quite eventful. I woke up at about 20 to 9 and got ready to go to work. We had a volunteer thing for feeding the homeless men in Woolloomooloo. Kinda looks like it's spelt wrong but... it's not. Heh. Anyway, so we went on an exciting bus ride to the city and we got there and our big boss, the CEO - Anthony Sobb (he's so cute hahaha..), thanks us for just coming along and then he goes on about what to expect.

He starts going on about how most of these guys are mentally ill and how some are skitzo and will at one point thank you for your services, but then turn around and tell you to get fucked. And yes, he said that - which came as a big surprise to most people on the bus. Anywhoo, then he went on about how the alley that we were going to walk down would be the worst part we'll see in the day. I sorta chuckled at that though, only because the name of the alley - i can't remember what it was - sorta sounded as silly as 'Diagon Alley' ... you know, from Harry Potter. Anyway! Then he started talking about how majority (9/10 lol) of us were women, and to be extra careful because most of these men haven't been cared for by a woman since their mommas. I'm already freaking out and what not because the way he was saying all this made me believe i was going to get raped so at this point, i'm trying to cover as much skin as i can because i don't want homeless men staring at me... or my skin.

Anyway, we got down to the alley and it wasn't that bad. We made them sausage sizzles and gave them showbags with goodies in it. They were really appreciative and it made me sad. All i did was put a sausage in their roll, and they were all like 'Thank you so much'. So yeah, that was pretty much the whole feeding homeless men thing. When we were going back to the bus, apparently a guy was smoking pot - bong and all. Ha... lol ...


ANYWAY! Sarah, Mia and I went to Parramatta afterwords. I'm pretty sure we were all feeling bad knowing there were hundreds of homeless guys out there trying to survive on nothing, and here we were spending money. lol...

MEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanna sleep.

Oh well.

I hate.

A lot of things. Mostly... people invading your privacy. Such as emails. Or letters. Or messages on your mobile phone. It annoys the hell out of me and i wish people would stop doing it.

STOP READING MY EMAILS! STOP GOING THROUGH MY MESSAGES! .... It's annoying. and I will hate you forever if you do it. At least ask if you can go through it. And if I say no... (which i most likely have said & will say) don't go through it!!! Don't CONTINUE to go through it if i say no. Don't be annoying. Don't be a turd. Because... i will hate you. I probably already do.

Woooooooo. That was some nice venting right thur.

So i ate a lot of food last night. And now i'm not eating forever. I'm going to detox and not eat. Never Ever. NEVER EVER. EVER AGAIN. I had a little - as Emily would call it - 'Lebanese Baby' today. And i felt bloated as. And it doesn't help when your MANAGER, who is suppose to be responsible, continually jabs you in the stomach to 'help you go'.

NO BENNIE BOO BOO! That doesn't help. And ... I HATE YOU!. If you ever read this. And yes, that is the 13549246th time i have said that. Get your shit stained glove and wipe it on someone else's face. lol. YOU DISGUSTING PRETTY BOY YOU!


Yes, i think i have vented enough. I want my bed.

SOMEONE HIRE ME GADDDAAMMMNNN!!!

Before i blog my heart out about needing a new job. =(

I hate it when you leave a message for someone and they don't call you back so you have to call them back - because to you, it's very important and you need the information asap - making you seem like a completely annoying little turd. I had to be an annoying turd (not that it's anything new) two times this week and it SHAT me. lol. shat. ha.

Anyway.. and now i have to go and be it again because
EMILY doesn't want to pick up her phone!! Or call me back. I'm unloved.

Ok.. i'm not unloved. She was just in woop woop tasting cheese and having a gay old time.

So does anyone want to give me at least 12 grand or hire me maybe... so i can go to a fricken college!?! Why does college sound so gay. College. College. College. COLLEGE.
I hate how money is important. I hate it. i hate you. Yes you.

Oh hahaha.. the other day i was listening to Nova and they had Lisa Robertson on. The chick that Ralph Fiennes accidentally fell in. And anyway, she did prostitution for a bit and i looked up her photo cause i had no clue what she looked like. And she's not that great. But Ralph Fiennes doesn't seem to mind and he's old and what not himself so whateverrr. Point is... prostitution is an easy way of getting money. lol. I would never do it... never ever ever. But yesterday i thought (and i thought it was pretty funny because i giggled to myself) that if I ever went into prostitution, i wouldn't even get alot. I wouldn't make a good prostitute at all. Which is a good thing really. lol...

which now brings me to my next point. LOL. Sarah Clout is scared of bending it the wrong way. Therefore... she will be a crap prostitute as well. Roffle.

Anyway, back to job hunting. *swears*

P.S: Someone comment on my useless blogs. It makes me feel like im talking to SOMEONE.

I still need a new job.

If i have to apply to any more jobs im going to cry.
WHY doesn't anyone want me? *cries*

Anywhooo, im bored. And not many people are talking to me on msn. So i decided to talk to... everyone. Mainly myself. I'm gay. Not literally gay. But extremely lame gay.

I went to Redfern today. And i found my own way to the place i had to go. I am so excited that i am growing up. Ok. I'm already sort of 'grown up' but.. come on man. I found my own way there without any help whatsoever. I'm so rad right now.

Meh. I'm getting tired of talking about nothing. How is that even possible.
ZOMG.
I was emo last night. I mean, what's new.. but like it was the sort of emo you get just because you're in a rotten mood. It was a combination of my monthlies finishing and work being a crap night with crap hole customers. Anyway, point is... a certain someone sent me a song (sung and played by himself. and if he ever reads this don't get all big headed that i mentioned you. haha.) and it has nothing to do with me... but it is now my song of the week.

Lullaby

she can't let go and she can't relax
and just before
she hangs her head to cry
I sing to her a lullaby,
I sing

everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
rockabye

I need a new job.

That's about it.

That's all i wanted to 'blog' about.

Yay. New blog. Because i'm bored and have to work on Easter Monday.

Happy Easter Poopheads

.... Ok. I'm not done yet. I'll sing.

i need love love. to ease my mind
i need to find find. someone to call mine
but mama said.

you can't hurry love. no. you just have to wait.
she said love don't come easy.
it's a game of give and take.

i can't hurry love. no.
you just have to wait.
you just gotta give it time.
no matter how long it takes.

you gotta wait.