Frustrated.

Ooh na na, what’s my name
Ooh na na, what’s my name

Ooh na na, what’s my name
Ooh na na, what’s my name
Ooh na na, what’s my name
Whats my name, whats my name

Yeah I heard you good with them soft lips
Yeah you know word of mouth
The square root of 69 is 8 something, right?
Cuz I’ve been tryna work it out, oooow
Good weed, white wine
I come alive in the night time
Okay, away we go
Only thing we have on is the radio
Ooooh, let it play, say you gotta leave
But I know you wanna stay
You just waiting on the track to finish girl
The things we could do in twenty minutes girl
Say my name, say my name
Wear it out, its getting hot, crack a window, air it out
I can get you through a mighty long day
Soon as I go the text you gon right is gon say…

Not everybody knows how to work my body
Knows how to make me want it
Boy you stay up on it
You got that something that keeps me so off balance
Baby you’re a challenge, lets explore your talent

Hey boy I really wanna see if you can go a downtown with a girl like me
Hey boy, I really wanna be with you
Cause you just my type
Ooh na na na na
I need a boy to really take it over
Looking for a girl to put you over
Oooooh, oooooh

Hey boy I really wanna see if you can go a downtown with a girl like me
Hey boy, I really wanna be with you
Cause you just my type
Ooh na na na na
I need a boy to really take it over
Looking for a girl to put you over
Oooooh, oooooh

Ooh na na, what’s my name
Ooh na na, what’s my name
Ooh na na, what’s my name
Whats my name, whats my name

Baby you got me, aint nowhere that I’d be
Then with your arms around me
Back and forth you rock me
So I surrender, to every word you whisper
Every door you enter, I will let you in

Hey boy I really wanna see if you can go a downtown with a girl like me
Hey boy, I really wanna be with you
Cause you just my type
Ooh na na na na
I need a boy to really take it over
Looking for a girl to put you over
Oooooh, oooooh

You’re so amazing, you took the time to figure me out
Thats why you take me, way past the point of turning me on
You bout to break me, I swear you got me losing my mind

Ooh na na, what’s my name
Ooh na na, what’s my name

Ooh na na, what’s my name
Ooh na na, what’s my name
Ooh na na, what’s my name
Whats my name, whats my name

Hey boy I really wanna see if you can go a downtown with a girl like me
Hey boy, I really wanna be with you
Cause you just my type
Ooh na na na na
I need a boy to really take it over
Looking for a girl to put you over
Oooooh, oooooh

Hey boy I really wanna see if you can go a downtown with a girl like me
Hey boy I really wanna be with you cause your just my type ooh na na na na
I need a boy to take it over, looking for a girl to put you over
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh... Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh...

On a negative note...

I see the couples are walkin` by feel like I
Don`t wanna be alone today
So glad no one can see what I hide deep inside
How it feels to be

The girl who never gets the right guy tell me why
When there`s so much I`ve got to give

I wake up reaching out in the night
Ready to hold him tight
`Til I realize
That nobody is there

When will it be me?
When will I be the one
Somebody`s dreamin' of?
When`s it gonna be?
When will I find my heart
Lyin` inside the arms
That never let me go?
I`d really like to know
When will it be me?

My friends seem to have all the love
Feels like love knocks on their door and walks right in
I know that I am worthy of what I`ve been wishin' for (wishin' for)
I can`t wait no more (wait no more)
Love`s nowhere to be found

When will it be me?
When will I be the one
Somebody`s dreamin' of?
Tell me
When`s it gonna be?
When will I find my heart
Lyin` inside the arms
That never lets me go?
I`d really like to know
(When will it be?)

Feeling his tender touch (Lying in his arms)
Talkin` bout forever together
Givin` him all my love
That`s been tryin' to break free

Don`t wanna be alone no more
I`m tellin' you what I need
I want someone who loves me for me
And when will it be?
Wonder when it will be me?

When will it be me?
When will I be the one
Somebody`s dreamin' of? (The one he's dreamin of)
When`s it gonna be?
When will I find my heart
Lyin` inside the arms

When will it be me?
When will I be the one
Somebody`s dreamin' of?

When will I find my heart
Lyin` inside the arms

I ask myself
When will it be me?

....

Fuck you very much.

F**k you, F**k you very very much...

Stop making me fall for you.

Always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Unless it's night time. Then depending on where you are, the only light you'll get is from a lamp post or something. Did i take that saying a little to literally?

It's been a while since I rambled on about my oh-so-interesting life. As much as I want to say I have, the fact remains i have not actually been busy, just lazy. Also, probably no more than 3 people read this blog... so no one's really missing out.

But anyway! I've received some awesome news about uni - exemptions for half of the subjects in my entire course... which means more time for myself and work. I'm excited.

In other news....

The Holiday.

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you.

And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy.

And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door.

And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade..

Boom.

Thought i'd change my header and make you all look at my sexy face every time you read my blog. I'm allowed. It's my blog. My life. My thoughts. My rambling...

But anywhoooo! I did this self awareness quiz on myself for uni... to find out what kind of communicator you are and how you come off to other people or something along those lines. I ended up being the 'Socialiser Style'. The definition of the socialiser is the following:

• Spontaneous actions and decisions
• Likes involvement
  
• Dislikes being alone
  
• Exaggerates and generalizes
  
• Tends to dream and gets others caught up in his/her dream
• Jumps from one activty to another
• Works quickly and excitedly with others
• Seeks esteem and acknowledgment
• Good Persuasive skills
  

Is that me? In a nutshell, i would say yes... it is. Especially the whole tends to dream and gets others caught up in her dream -- not that that's a bad thing! But I do make lots of plans and get other people excited about them! Haha...

And jumping from one activity to another - That would be me and work. I'm constantly switching jobs. Never happy! Totally the reason why I want to work for myself.

So speaking of jobs, i'm considering quitting my walla shalla job - Marco Gianni (the hectik shoe storeeee). Gloria Jeans is now offering me more hours because they're giving the sack to some other junior they just hired. So i guess it works out. I'm not sure when to tell them though...

OH WELL!

The Calling.

Ever since i started REALLY planning my sister's wedding, i've kinda felt like it was a natural thing to do. It felt like I automatically knew what kinda of things I needed to know about weddings even when I hadn't had any prior experience or had done any research.

I thought about it for a bit and realised that moving within the corporate & wedding industry would be more fulfilling than being in within music and entertainment. I don't know, i think it's to do with the fact that you can get more satisfaction knowing you're organising an event that's going to be one of the most important events in another persons life. And the whole idea that you were apart of it and made it possible.

So I decided to make up a draft business plan and write up the kind of services I'd want to provide people through my company, if I were able to. The next thing you know, i'm telling my sister about my idea, she's telling me we should start up our own company so we don't have to work for anyone... and here we are. Slowly starting up our own company. Paper, Lace & Confetti Events.

The idea is to specialise in weddings and private functions until we get enough experience to do corporate events, like christmas parties or board meeting conferences etc.

But! As i said, we're starting slow.. since we have other things in life to worry about.

Four letters.

No matter how many times my feelings may be hurt..
No matter how many times my heart may get broken...
No matter how many times I may feel this pain...
And...
No matter how much I dislike mushiness....

I will always believe in Love.

How.

It's funny how a person with so many things going on around them and so many loving friends and family can feel so sad and alone.

What's missing?

Fictional.

I have this habit of falling in love with fictional Characters. It's really sad.... but i can't help it.

Barney Stinson.

Angel.

Spike.

Van Wilder.

Chuck Bass.

Puck.

Wolverine.

... Just to share a few. Anyway, do you all see the pattern here?!?! These guys are the rebellious, mean, bad ass, vampire, evil, claw-out-of-knuckle, man-whore - now wait for it .... WITH A BIG HEART-type of guys. They may seem all tough and mean on the outside, but deep down... they're sweet. And kind hearted. And caring. And swoon worthy.

So, i guess that's my type? Need to find me some demon boys! Damn this weakness! I wish life were a fictional movie/tv series/novel...

DAMMIT!!

My room is a mess.

Don't really need to elaborate on it much. So here's a picture....



I know, right? ... lol

It's the messiest it's been since... ever. I shall wake up early tomorrow, feeling like P.Diddy, and clean it up.

In other news, i feel unfulfilled again. I think it's because i'm not doing anything to do with events at the moment. So i think i need to get back into it. Again, i'm considering working interstate. So, on the hunt for a full time job in events! If anyone has hook ups, please... send them my way.

x

Savings.

Ok. I seriously need to start saving because i'm going insane thinking about my financial situation. It's giving me unwanted dots on my forehead. Now obviously, I don't have the strong will to do this on my own so i need the help off my dearest friends. Yes, that's you... reading this.

Here's the plan.

As of today:

1. You will not allow me to buy take away food unless it's absolutely necessary. Continually remind me to pack my own lunch if I can - ie. if i'm working at GJ's where there's a fridge. If i absolutely NEED to buy food outside of my home, remind me that it needs to be $10 or less.
   
2. In the case where I'm catching up with friends for lunch, dinner or coffee; you must make sure I spend $30 or less on a meal and $10 for coffee (give or take depending if i need a small bite on the side - like a creme brulee... Mmmm)
   
3. If we're out shopping - STOP ME FROM BUYING ANYTHING I DON'T NEED. Continually ask me if i NEED whatever item i'm contemplating on buying.
   
4. $12,800 College loan - Need i say more? Remind me, remind me, remind me!!
   
5. If i complain about work or mention that I'm thinking of calling in sick because i just can't be bothered, slap me and make sure i DO go to work.
   
6. If we're having a night out in town, make sure i'm DD so i'm not tempted to buy any drinks. -- Yes, that's right. I'll be DD.
7. Please don't tempt me to go out places where I will spend large amounts of money.
   
8. Make sure I don't use my credit card .... at all. NO EXCUSES. In fact, I'm cutting it up now.
9. If we're having a friendly chat, please ask me every now and then whether i've put money aside in my weekly budget for other expenses such as monthly bills. Also remind me that i'm going overseas this year and need to save for spending/living money.
   
10. Finally, DON'T LET ME BUY ANY SHOES ... That i don't need of course :)
    

So there it is... The Plan.

Please, please... please please HELP ME SAVE. And i will return the favour for you when the time comes! I love you long timeeee.

x

love in a nutshell.

This is me. *Sigh*
And this is my um, very non-discreet message to you.

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush

Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way
About me, just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain?t going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl?
Are we just friends? Is there more? Is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever!

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
This crush ain't going away-ay-ay

Going away
Going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay.